Now here's a post whose time truly has come. We are going to create the definitive list of songs that are more popular than they would/could/should be on account of having epic videos.

Here's my list. Read, ponder, then post yours.

1. "Sledgehammer," Peter Gabriel. 
Does anyone actually like this song? They don't need to! The video gives us dancing chickens, swimming sperm and a host of other cutting-edge-for-the-time graphics to keep us entertained.

2. "Hot for Teacher," Van Halen.
This really isn't even a song. It's a series of Diamond Dave monologues punctuated by Eddie just doing what comes naturally. But have you ever heard this on the radio and not pictured Eddie walking the desktop promenade, or the band in those sweet tuxes failing to dance? Or what about the little "mini" Van Halen characters?
Sit down, Waldo! You're nervous, and your socks are too loose.

3. "Sabotage," Beastie Boys.
I really like this song, but it's not even a top-10 B-Boys tune. That said, it might be the third-best video ever made. You hear that opening, you see our favorite Jewish rappers wearing Starsky & Hutch wigs and sliding across car hoods. You will not touch the radio dial.

4. "Don't Come Around Here No More," Tom Petty.
Again, a decent song. But the Alice and Wonderland imagery is the star of the whole show. Well before Tim Burton and Johnny Depp went all 3D on us, Petty & Co. nailed the creepy, trippy Lewis Carroll experience and teamed it perfectly with that swirly guitar part.

5. "Big Me," Foo Fighters.
My vote for second-best video ever made, and I actually don't really like the Foo Fighters at all. But the Mentos send-up? Pure genius. And it elevated an utterly by-the-numbers pop song to a work of ironic artistry. Or, artistic irony. Take your pick.

Now, for your picks please.

Today has been a truly lousy day from about noon on, for reasons too numerous to name.


On such a day, only one thing can make me feel better. And that thing is 90210.


Some people go shopping; others pour a stiff drink.


Not me. No, I turn to SoapNet, where every day is 1993. Or maybe 1997 or 1999. It matters not -- every day in Beverly Hills is an hour-long package of goodness, a festival of trendy fashion, trendy hair, trendy music and the requisite location shots of Rodeo Drive. (Lookie there! It's Cartier!)


As you're reading this, you might be thinking, "Ah, any second now she will make a salient point tying 90210 to a major cultural touchstone relevant to today's economic and social circumstances."


I will do no such thing, I assure you. That would minimize the value of 90210 for being exactly what it is: unadulterated, mindless American entertainment. (It's like macaroni and cheese. Why are people adding lobster to something that was absolutely perfect to begin with?)


Indeed, 90210 is the ultimate comfort food, chicken soup for Jennifer's soul. 


Today, the senior class at West Bev staged a protest demanding that Donna Martin be allowed to graduate with the rest of the gang. Even Dylan joined in! Heck, even the juniors joined in (with their only stipulation being a co-protest of the clearly oppressive dress code). Nothing like that ever happened at Scott High. Or, frankly, any actual high school anywhere on the planet.


And that's why it's awesome. And why I'll be tuning in again tomorrow. And the day after that. No matter how bad any of those days might be, I know I'll have one hour of pure, nonsensical joy. 


And some sweet sideburns.