What if you can't take it back?
What if you say something so horrible, you simply never can make up for it?
And what if you say that thing to God?
What if you ask him why he has given up on you? What if you accuse him of never loving you, or punishing you for reasons you don't understand?
What if you pray daily for help? What if you ask to have your burden, your illness, removed, and it doesn't happen? What if you look at your life, hate the mess you've made of it, question why you were created, wonder if you have any reason to keep going?
And what if you know all of this is a sin, that millions of other people have it worse than you, yet you can't help your feelings of loss and anger?
What if you so deeply feel abandoned that you start to wonder whether your "faith" ever actually existed or if it's just rhetoric you spout because it's the "right thing to do"?
Can you take it back? Can you be forgiven, and if so, at what price does your redemption come?
It probably costs more than saying 10 Hail Marys and 10 Our Fathers.
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